Is Premarital Sex a Sin:
The issue of premarital sex is troubling to many Christians. In our modern society, nearly everyone engages in sex before marriage. Some excuse this behavior as an “expression of love.” Others assume consensual conduct between two people harms no one and, therefore, cannot be sinful. Most, however, assume its social acceptability excuses any moral unacceptability.
In modern relationships, abstaining from sex until married seems impossible. Generally, one or both members of the relationship would not continue in a relationship unless sex was permitted. The common objection to premarital abstinence is: How am I supposed to date someone long enough to marry them without allowing sex?
To fully answer this question, we need to separate the question’s two implied conditions:
- Is premarital sex a sin if marriage is not expected? – assuming the relationship will probably be temporary.
- Is premarital sex a sin if marriage is expected? – assuming the relationship will be permanent.
Regardless of what your scenario is, we recommend you read both scenarios. We need to understand both scenarios to fully understand either scenario. We will begin with the most common scenario:
Is premarital sex a sin if marriage is not expected:
The foundation of every law is personal protection and protection of others. These laws, a violation of which we call sin, are the laws that will govern heaven. Violating these laws will result in a life less pleasing than one would experience in heaven.
The laws that govern sex serve the same function. That is, they protect us from unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and the potential emotional trauma. Whether or not sex outside marriage is a sin, it is difficult for one to argue sex outside of marriage is not associated with countless difficulties.
The English word for sex before marriage is: “fornication.” Considering this, many point out that several Bible translations never uses the word “fornication.” The reason for this is simply there is no Greek or Hebrew word that specifically and only means: sex before marriage.
The Difficulty in translating fornication:
The Bible, written in Hebrew and Greek, uses a few words when referring to sexual immorality:
Old Testament – Hebrew:
ניאוף (niuf): Best translates to adultery.
“You shall not commit adultery [niuf].
Exodus 20:14
זנות (znut): Best translates to prostitute or fornicator.
” ‘Do not degrade your daughter by making her a prostitute [znut], or the land will turn to prostitution and be filled with wickedness.
Leviticus 19:29
זנה (zanah): Best translates to: to be sexually immoral through fornication, whoredom, or to be a harlot.
While Israel was staying in Shittim, the men began to indulge in sexual immorality [zanah] with Moabite women,
Numbers 25:1
New Testament – Greek:
Moicheia (moicheía): Equivalent to ניאוף (niuf) – best translates to adultery
The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery [moicheía]. They made her stand before the group
John 8:3
Porneia (porneia): Equivalent to זנות (znut) – best translates to: to commits illicit sex such as a prostitute or a fornicator.
I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin [porneia] and debauchery in which they have indulged.
2 Corinthians 12:21
Porneuo (porneuo): Equivalent to זנה (zanah) – best translates to fornication, whoredom, or to be a harlot. Often translated to sexual immorality.
Flee from sexual immorality [porneuo]. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18
While none of these passages, when read in their original languages, specifically identify sex between two consenting unmarried adults as sinful, all of them condemn sexual immorality as a broad category. This is to be expected as neither Greek nor Hebrew has a word which specifically and exclusively translates to: sex between two consenting unmarried adults.
The lack of a specific word for fornication makes its inclusion into the category of sexually immoral difficult to assess. However, we can review what is sexually moral. By revealing what defines “sexually moral,” we can determine whether or not fornication fits within this category and, therefore, whether or not fornication is permissible.
What is sexually moral:
Contrary to popular belief, the Bible is in no way prude. In fact, the Bible is quite sexual and, at times, very graphic. While the Bible is sexually charged, it clearly reveals sex serves a specific purpose and has a specific effect:
What is the purpose of Sex:
The Bible clearly explains sex has three purposes:
Procreation:
This is the obvious purpose of sex.
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
Genesis 1:28
Enjoyment:
Sex is designed to be fun and enjoyable.
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.A loving doe, a graceful deer-
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.Proverbs 5:18-19
An expression of love:
Sex is the physical manifestation of love.
Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom-
there I will give you my love.Song of Songs 7:12
What is the effect of Sex:
Aside from the obvious effect of sex (producing offspring), according to the Bible, sex has another effect:
Unification
Sex results in two people becoming one flesh. They are united by God. In other words, they become married:
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”
1 Corinthians 6:16
Conclusion: Is premarital sex a sin if marriage is not planned:
The Bible clearly praises sex as a beautiful expression of love. However, it warns us to avoid “sexual immorality.” Where is the line drawn between moral and immoral sex? Very simply, the line is drawn at marriage. Sex is never immoral when it is between two married people. Sex is always immoral when it involves unmarried people.
When two people have sex, they become united as one flesh before God; they become married. If they respect this unification they respect God. When they unite themselves (have sex) with the expectation to separate the union, they disrespect the purpose of sex and therefore disrespect God.
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 7:9
Is premarital sex a Sin if marriage is planned:
While the information above sheds a lot of light upon sex and its purpose, it does not account for those who plan on marrying. If immoral sex is defined as: sex between unmarried people and the result of sex is: uniting two into one flesh (i.e. marriage), is sex still a sin if the two are engaged to be married?
Technically, no. When a couple engaged to be married has sex, they are uniting themselves prematurely. They become married in the eyes of God before they celebrate this union with a marriage ceremony. However, the chances of the couple actually getting married is surprisingly small. How many times have you heard a couple sincerely state they “will be together forever” only to separate shortly after?
The marriage ceremony is a public declaration to the community, your family, your spouse, and God, that you will respect the consummation (unification by God as a result of sex). If you have not made this public declaration, then you are far more likely to separate. Until you have made this declaration, sex is highly unadvisable and will very likely result in a separation. It is not the sex that is sinful, it is the separation, the violation of the unification that the sex caused, that is sinful.
and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
Mark 10:8-9
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Hebrews 13:4